Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Last blogged @ 6:48 PM

X N A S ,

When it was time for me to move on and continue on my journey I expected to miss you, but I did not expect to feel as though half of my soul had been ripped from me. It started our last morning together – the moment I knew I wouldn’t be waking up next to you again. I found myself honestly saying, “Why didn’t I get one more kiss before you left, or embrace you a little longer?”

I can’t believe how badly I ache for you right now. Thinking about it right now brings the feelings back all over again. I love the way you feel in my arms, so fragile yet so strong. I love the way your strong yet feminine hands comfort me. I love the way your mouth makes awkward movements and gestures as you tell a story. I love you my darling.

Please don’t ever forget me and know that my heart will always have a piece just for you. Thank you for a month of memories I will never forget. They say time can fade feelings but during our time together I took a lot of pictures in my mind and they’ll be stored in my heart forever.

The pain you have caused me is unbearable; I cannot sleep, I no longer eat; I wish things were as they originally were, but now I realize that is impossible. It is ironic, you were my one and only true happiness, though at times you were my only sorrow. All I can ask for now is your forgiveness, though inside I will yearn for so much more. If I had known things would have turned out this way, I would have changed it all. All of those immature insults would instead have been compliments. I can do nothing but apologize for my behavior, these feelings were new to me. I had not felt for anyone what I feel for you.

Now I must feel this way alone. I have pushed you away, and spoiled my opportunity, if in fact a chance ever existed. Maybe one day, our paths will reunite. If this wish is granted all will be different. I will treat you how you deserve to be treated, and I vow I will never cause you harm. I just wanted to let you know that I've loved and still love you with all of my heart and I don't know what to do without you in my life.

you just can't be replaced. I'm so hurt that you've given up on us. I know in other people's eyes we weren't the best couple but in our eyes we were.I miss everything about you and I can never get you off my mind no matter how hard I try. I just can't let you go. People keep on telling me to just let you go but it's easier said than done. And every time I try, it never seems to work out as planned.

Every day I pray to God that you come back to me looking into my eyes telling me you love me and you'll never leave me again.You will always and forever be my baby, my heart, my soul, my everything. I just thought I should let you know. I'll never forget you.

Love Always.