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Monday, January 26, 2009
Last blogged @ 12:37 PM    HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR (: just came back from malaysia, and buddie xiaoru's over at my house, accompanying me (: HOHOHOS. kinda tired as i didnt sleep the whole night, but never mind (: ought to enjoy, it's holiday! i want to catch fann wong and christopher lee's movie later on at night! I DONT CAREEEE! arghs. back there in malaysia, it was kinda fun (: enjoyed myself too. collect angbaos, angbaos! and i want moreeeeee! :D hahahaha.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Last blogged @ 4:12 AM back homeeeeee, finally (:
okay, great, another lack of sleep day. -.- im waking up at 6.30, and it's ard 4plus now. oh wells. talking about that, after blogging yesterday, went to sleep and ended up, i couldnt wake up, so didnt went to school, and it was like 6plus when i woke up. if this continue, im going to die. but, i dont want to stay at home. memories linger. i would rather die of tiredness than die of being haunted by the memories. because, 我会死的很痛苦... i dont want to think, because everytime i start to, it'll link up to many many things, and then. i'll isolate myself again. sighs. shaboy and sakai called, so ended up going downstairs to entertain their nonsense. not fair, they are very happy with their love, and i can feel the sweet stench of happiness attached to them! then, where's mine? so, it's like.. NOT FAIR. whatever it is, i had it, just that i lost it. ahling, meinah and bearbear came over to find us, and slacked at a block with countable residents in it. i wouldnt dare to go up if i was alone. (chicken meat-ed)     great, meinah's going to court tmr, i really dont know what i have to say. sighs. ): sakai's going to court again too, and hopefully, it's probation luh. if not, shaboy's going to break down. i dont wanna die of flood. shaked my stress away. eh, no, i didnt. i just wanna torture myself, i dont know why.  went over to nigel's house and waited with him for my wife, joel to come over to get their hair dyed. and after waiting for like dont know how fucking long, joel said he dont want to get his hair dyed when he finally reached. so, in the end.. after dying nigel's hair, turned around and smack that dye on his hair. and he was like. bo bian lor. (: slack slack slack, and now, returned home. i think nigel and joel's going to kill me soon, cos they're going ' tak boleh tahan ' seeing me emo-ing all the time. wanted to wake up to my senses, begged them to beat me up. what a previllage, but.. was rejected! slapped myself, but.. it does no difference. sighs. whatever it is, i really wanna thank all my friends, really. these two days, had been recieving touching messages from them, and, really, im happy to see that you guys care. thanks, friends. NIGEL : " ... Take care ya . Dunn think too much . even if all ppl outside lies to u nvm lah. i won't lie to u. =) " SAKAI : " Bgerl, take good care of yourself. Don't think too much. It's better for you to move on with your life. No matter what, you will always have me as a friend. " AHLING : " Thanks, but let me tell you, no matter what conflicts we had in the past i'll always be here for you no matter what. but i just hope you wont have grudges against me. " and also, many others, whoever that showed me concern. thanks, really (: oh, and also to AHBOY who has been checking on my meals.. -.- lol. but, no appetite lah. ): am going to sleep now, im left with two more hours! NIGHTS~ p.s. i miss you, i feel like a fool, and i know i am. but, i just cant forget about you... no matter how much im trying hard to.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Last blogged @ 7:00 PM  im left with nothing. memories linger, in fact too much. what's left of you with me, just remind me of the times so sweet. this heartache dont seem to be able to cure, i just wanna feel better, but it seems impossible without you. i vowed, you're the love of my life. Last blogged @ 6:48 PM X N A S ,
When it was time for me to move on and continue on my journey I expected to miss you, but I did not expect to feel as though half of my soul had been ripped from me. It started our last morning together – the moment I knew I wouldn’t be waking up next to you again. I found myself honestly saying, “Why didn’t I get one more kiss before you left, or embrace you a little longer?” I can’t believe how badly I ache for you right now. Thinking about it right now brings the feelings back all over again. I love the way you feel in my arms, so fragile yet so strong. I love the way your strong yet feminine hands comfort me. I love the way your mouth makes awkward movements and gestures as you tell a story. I love you my darling. Please don’t ever forget me and know that my heart will always have a piece just for you. Thank you for a month of memories I will never forget. They say time can fade feelings but during our time together I took a lot of pictures in my mind and they’ll be stored in my heart forever. The pain you have caused me is unbearable; I cannot sleep, I no longer eat; I wish things were as they originally were, but now I realize that is impossible. It is ironic, you were my one and only true happiness, though at times you were my only sorrow. All I can ask for now is your forgiveness, though inside I will yearn for so much more. If I had known things would have turned out this way, I would have changed it all. All of those immature insults would instead have been compliments. I can do nothing but apologize for my behavior, these feelings were new to me. I had not felt for anyone what I feel for you. Now I must feel this way alone. I have pushed you away, and spoiled my opportunity, if in fact a chance ever existed. Maybe one day, our paths will reunite. If this wish is granted all will be different. I will treat you how you deserve to be treated, and I vow I will never cause you harm. I just wanted to let you know that I've loved and still love you with all of my heart and I don't know what to do without you in my life. you just can't be replaced. I'm so hurt that you've given up on us. I know in other people's eyes we weren't the best couple but in our eyes we were.I miss everything about you and I can never get you off my mind no matter how hard I try. I just can't let you go. People keep on telling me to just let you go but it's easier said than done. And every time I try, it never seems to work out as planned. Every day I pray to God that you come back to me looking into my eyes telling me you love me and you'll never leave me again.You will always and forever be my baby, my heart, my soul, my everything. I just thought I should let you know. I'll never forget you. Love Always. Last blogged @ 6:08 PM if i had read that earlier,
maybe things would have been better for us. it's all too late, and im that fool out here. it's all my fault, im sorry. Last blogged @ 6:06 PM How to Love
Love is a strange thing. It can be the most amazing feeling in the world, or it can really hurt, but in the end love is something most, if not all of us, will face. While there are many different ways to define love and there are many different ways to love someone (even yourself), here is a general guide to loving.
Last blogged @ 5:44 PM 秋天不回来 - 王强 初秋的天，冰冷的夜 回忆慢慢袭来 真心的爱就像落叶 为何却要分开 灰色的天 独自彷徨 城市的老地方 真的孤单 走过忧伤 心碎还要逞强 想为你披件外衣 天凉要爱惜自己 没有人比我更疼你 告诉你在每个想你的夜里 我哭的好无力 就让秋风带走我的思念 带走我的泪 我还一直静静守候在 相约的地点 求求老天淋湿我的双眼 冰冻我的心 让我不再苦苦奢求你还回来我身边 Last blogged @ 5:09 PM i miss you,
i miss you, i miss you. i dont know what to do. I AM LOST. Last blogged @ 5:00 AM finally, back to blog!
didnt have the time to blog this few days as im lack of sleep! just reached home, and guess what? it's 5am already, and im waking up at about, 7.30am? cool huh? it was the same for yesterday too. just that, i slept for about only one fucking hour, couldnt sleep well because of something i shouldnt have make it affect me so much. whatever it is, shall share about what happened this few days (: spent my saturday and sunday in malaysia with xnas and mummy, before everything was over. it was fun, really. really enjoyable, i cant even put them into words, but too bad, it'll not be that enjoyable no more. came back on sunday afternoon, and went out at 9 or 10plus to meet nigel and joel, bus-ed over to parkway parade. spent some time over there while waiting for yiting to come down. laughs. i really think nigel is some lollipop-siao. we went in and out of giant to get lollipops, because he never seems to be satisfied with the number of lollipops he have. acting dumb, yeah? laughs. and at around 12am, bus-ed over to kembangan, they ate while i watch. didnt have appetite. and we're back to slacking, slacking, and slacking. okay, it was fun luh. cos they really made me laugh. (: cabbed back home with nigel and joel at around 4, and went home to try getting some sleep, but in the end.. blah. nigel came over and accompanied me to slack awhile and sent me to the mrt station. i think i was like a clown, because i told him "nah, im tired of crying luh!" and the next moment he turned around, tears started rolling down. ( okay nigel, it's partly because you stuck that earpiece in my ear, made me listen to emo songs ok. ) school started, was kinda boring because, it's the same teachers we're facing for another year? whatever it is, b-o-r-e-d. class was released half an hour earlier. (:    ZHILIN  ANGELINE (: went over to hawker, met pris after that too. chit-chat alot, cracked many jokes too. (: after that, headed over to suntec to find nigel who has been waiting for me for 1 hour. ( im sorry, so stop your "thanks ah." thingy, will you? ) daylight robbery, nigel bought two bottles of drinks for $5. o.O he wanted to make me happy, so he brought me to watch this 3-D movie. coooooooooooool. but, he slept through it. great huh? -.- was supposed to rush back to sch, principal wanted to see me, zhilin, yirong and angeline. but only yirong went back. and wth, warned us that if we're up to any nonsense for just one more time, we'll be expelled. met sakai and shaboy at my house downstairs, slacked and hear them talk about their love. laughs, and how much they miss them. hahaha. took many retard photos of them too. and, i found out, i grown so much taller. =X        after that, met up with zhenglong, teckyeow, joel, nigel and yiting at aljunied cresent. (chicken meat-ed) slacked, loitered around, did this, and that. well, i just dont know what to say. haha. but they really tried to make me laugh and stop me from thinking of some other things which will get me upset. so, it only "rain-ed" once. thanks, friends.     and wei da de joel sent me home today! :D thanks many, wife. (: p.s. you're still on my heart and mind. ( letting go is never easy, but i never thought it'll be this tough. )
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Last blogged @ 4:34 PM tnighs are nveer the smae aaign,
and i rlaely htae eervtyinhg wehn it's lkie tihs. p.s. i really love you.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Last blogged @ 11:28 PM love, it's you that i love,
the only one. please trust me. Last blogged @ 10:57 PM love, you're the one who can give me the happiness i want.
without you by my side, nothing's gonna be the same again, i just hope.. the happiness will never end. will you continue giving me the happiness? i may not be able to give you the happiness that you're asking for, and it makes myself feel so useless, but no matter what it is, i'll try, and i'll never give up, till i succeed.. i love you, my love. Last blogged @ 7:29 PM i lost 2 kg in less than a week, just right after the heartbreak started.
didnt expect i'd make myself go through this suffering, and i dont understand why. & i hope what i heard aint true. it's too much for me to handle. 我宁愿不知道...  Last blogged @ 7:26 AM retarded photos of nigel and joel for entertainment. :D ( LOL. )   they can sleep at just ANYWHERE.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Last blogged @ 7:44 PM fucked up! finally back home after locked up in bedok HQ since yesterday night. gotta go back for reporting on the 29th, great. let me think about the day i had yesterday. hms, 2nd day of orientation, doing all the nonsense again. what made me happy is, i've gotten myself my favourite teacher as my mentor! and what's even more happier, is he requested me to be his mentee! see how much he sayangs me? (: laughs. 1OA21 again, but not angeline, she's in 1OA22 unexpectedly. made her cry like being in different classes means the world's going to end. lol. but indeed, kinda sad though. after every happy moments we spent together in the class last year, and this year, she's going through it again, without us. "/ zhilin and i are in the same class again, hopefully yirong and joshua too. but, it doesnt really matter as i hope there's someone who can accompany my poor angeline. ):     had nowhere to go, nothing to do. my life has become so meaningless. bah-bah-bah. went to parkway parade with yirong, candy and andy.       ANDY (: ( the zombie ) YIRONG (:
and just to arrest us,
blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. dont wish to mention about it alrd. crazy, mad day! love, i-miss-you (:
Last blogged @ 5:59 PM Westlife Miscellaneous I Don't Wanna Fight No More I can't sleep,everything i ever knew, It's a lie, without you, I can't breathe, when my heart is broke in two, There's no beat, without you, You're not gone, but you're not here, It's that's the way it seems tonight, If we could try to end these wars, I know that we can make it right, cause baby, i don't wanna fight no more, I forgot what we were fighting for, and this loneliness that's in my heart, won't let me be apart from you, i don't wanna have to try, Girl, to live without you in my life, So, i'm hoping we can start tonight, cause i don't wanna fight, no more, How can I leave, when everything that I adore, and everything I'm living for, Girl, it's in you, I can't dream, sleepless nights have got me bad, The only dream i ever had, is being with you, I know that we can make it right, It's gonna take a little time, Lets not leave ourselves with no way out, lets not cross that line, (that line) I don't wanna fight no more, I forgot what we were fighting for, and this loneliness that's in my heart, won't let me be apart from you, I don't wanna have to try, Girl, to live without you in my life, So, i'm hoping we can start tonight, cause i don't wanna fight, no more, ow Remember that i made a vow, that i would never let you go, I meant it then, I mean it now, and i want to tell you so, I don't wanna fight no more, (oh no) I forgot what we were fighting for, and this loneliness that's in my heart, won't let me be apart from you, I don't wanna have to try, Girl, to live without you in my life, So, i'm hoping we can start tonight, (can we start) cause i don't wanna fight, no more... I don't wanna fight no more, I forgot what we were fighting for, (oh yeah) and this loneliness that's in my heart, (my heart) won't let me be apart from you, I don't wanna have to try, Girl, to live without you in my life, So, i'm hoping we can start tonight, (I'm hoping) cause i don't wanna fight, no more....... It's all a lie, Without you, without you......
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Last blogged @ 7:11 PM yesterday, mummy woke us up ard afternoon,
asked us out. and we went to chinatown. it's not even chinese new year yet, and the crowd's like... oh-my-gosh. the three of us walked around, fooled around, and joked around. darling pulled us over to buy the ' bu yao gei ni ' ice-cream, purposely want us to get disturbed by the man who will not give us the ice cream. laughs. mummy didnt know that, so in the end, when the man fooled her, her face was like. eh? uh? and, made me and darling laugh like mad becos of her reaction. HAHAHA. went to people's park after that. darling bought me a bag :D LOVESLOVES! and, mummy bought me LG viewty WHITEEEE! :D darling, we've got the sameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee phone now! :D crazy things happened, dont wish to mention it already. it's all... WHAT-THE-HELL. sighs. dont wish it to happen again. i'll do my part, but, what about you? for some reasons, im still insecure. Last blogged @ 7:07 PM it's still going on,
i cant believe you made me go through the same old hurtings ONCE MORE. i dont wish to continue saying much, becos, you dont even bother.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Last blogged @ 5:12 AM im going to sleep now,
and let my dreams take everything away. when i wake up tomorrow, nothing's wrong anymore. tomorrow will be a better day, goodnight. Last blogged @ 5:07 AM i'm so tired of pretending... EVERYTHING IS OKAY, MY TEARS ARE STARTING TO SHOW AND MY SMILE IS FADING AWAY. Last blogged @ 4:22 AM what's really on your mind, and what your heart really wants to say. i'll stay strong, and hold on. because, i love you... Last blogged @ 4:00 AM  you broke my heart, but i still love you.. with all the bits and pieces. Last blogged @ 3:57 AM dear heavenly father,
all i want, is just to be happy. be happy, with her. Last blogged @ 3:42 AM i thought by loving you WHOLE-HEARTEDLY and trying to give you all that i have and the best that i can would make you love me the same too...
i thought it was real, but why did you have to show me that... im actually, wrong? Last blogged @ 3:22 AM some things are better left unsaid. but, it's worse when you find out what it is. right now, i dont know what to say. i cant even explain what this feeling is about. it just sucks, seriously. i feel like a fool. people always say, there's no perfect thing in this world. so when you feel like everything's perfect, just wait and see. i dont want to believe what i saw, but i know, my eyes wont fool me. will they? sighs. i wont ask much. pretend that i saw nothing? no, i wont. becos, i'll be trying hard to lie to myself when i've already seen it with my own eyes. i've landed myself into this state that i can do just anything to try to save everything, be it if it's fair to me, i would still have to accept it, and go on with it, with a wounded heart... im fine, im okay... not.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Last blogged @ 10:45 PM  darling's going court tomorrow, i hope she'll be fine... cos i wont know what to do WITHOUT you.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Last blogged @ 2:32 AM IT'S 2009! A MEMORABLE NEW YEAR. (very) with NO fireworks, but BLOOD instead... it's the THIRD year i've missed the fireworks of new year countdown. thought that i would be able to catch the fireworks, and have lotsa fun. but sadly, i've said.. I THOUGHT. met up with my didi shihan at amk to slack and kill time before countdown. met up with his friends too. went to amk hub, looked for his so-called VEGETABLES. laughs!and down to bugis. blah blah blah, and there we go, off to VIVOCITY, hoping to have fun counting down to new year. ( if only he had listened to us and go to esplanade instead. ) down at VIVOCITY, we saw a bunch of hundreds of idiots queueing up, waiting for their turn to go up to the last floor by the escalator. clever us, we went up through the staircase. and i just cant understand why they didnt think of the stairs! laughs! HAHAHAHA :D as we were anticipating for 12am to arrive, there goes the BIG SHOW. fight broke out, stabbing involved. crowd dispersed as the fight broke out. and there goes my countdown... all ran off after which, and all broke up. went down to find my didi with his body covered with blood.. with scratches on his neck with flesh, MANY holes at the back and slashes. BLOOD, BLOOD, BLOOD! and flesh too ): checked the time, 12am... a memorable new year. police came, this and that, got detained. QUESTIONING, QUESTIONING, QUESTIONING. and only were we let off at 3am plus. spent the first few hours of the new year with CIDS. so cooool huh? -.- didi and company are going back to report tmr, worried. sighs. i mean, it do hurts to see your love one get hurt right infront of you, isnt it? guess it's really a BIG BIG case now. and for darling, 3 MORE DAYS TO GO :D |
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