xnas, goodbye.

i'll not trouble you, i'll not pester you, i'll not make myself like a clown anymore. and i wont ever irritate your life ever again. i dont know why im making myself go through so much suffering, so much torturement and so much pain because of you when you dont feel a thing. im stupid, i know. im like a clown. and now, i feel so stupid of myself. i suffer so much, but you are enjoying yourself, not even bothering about me. i know im nothing, but, why must you lie to me? " sayang, i wana slp. " when you are at boat quay, drinking and enjoying yourself. i guess right now, you're laughing at me, at my stupidity, my foolishness and my loss. i've been making myself like a crazy fool because of you, but, you didnt even bother. goodbye, sayang. i'll not pester you and make you irritated again. i know im a fool.

it's killing me...