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Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Last blogged @ 6:49 PM      nothing's gonna change my love for you... darling and i didnt sleep since yesterday night, and we went out early in the morning... it was like, superr early. and after that, we accompanied baba to her boyfriend's court. was super sad lur, she cried till her eyes are swollen. worst part, we went to eat first before it's his turn, cos we thought that it may take a little bit more time as we sat there for like hours already, and sadly, when we went back, it was all too late. He's gone, not even a last goodbye, neither a last glance at his face... all baba could do was to cry. ): after that, they accompanied me all the way to jurong point to get money from my godfather. and we went penisular right after that to get our tattoos done. i guess it was due to the lack of sleep, which turned us a little crazy, we did our tattoos at places we used to say that we'll never ever get tattoo done there. o.O madness, crazyyy! but afterall, thanks to the craziness, otherwise, i doubt i'll have the courage to get the tattoo done at that spot some other days man. baba and my dearest darling are sleeping like pigs now... just feel like kicking darling off the bed! =X hahahahahas! today is a very special day, with everything that has happened, and everything that we did (:  saw this poor dead cat by the road side when we went out. darling even dragged and forced me to go near it! arghs. ): but, GROSS!, isn't it? o.O ( and for your info, look carefully, the eyeballs dropped out. "/ )
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Last blogged @ 1:45 PM      you never fail to make me smile (: went to old changi hospital with darling, meinah and company (: everyone's so tired now, and my darling left me alone, and went to her lalaland already!! it's been a long long time since the last time i went there. many many things happened, too many to name, and to cut it short, it was really a frightening experience. in the past, i dont take everything that happens there seriously, or rather, find it just another place to perform our nonsense. but after today, i understand that everything aint joking matter. ewwwwww, scaryyyyy ): took many photos with darling, uploaded it all in friendster (: everything's going on well, and even better than before. i hope this happiness will last (: i dont care what happened in the past of me, or her. what other's going to say, or what the future may bring, im just going to hang on, hold on tight, and never let go, come what may. darling, you promised me that too, right? (: i dont know what you did, or how you managed to.. but, you're keeping that smile on my face, being the reason to my happiness... (:
Monday, December 15, 2008
Last blogged @ 1:07 AM   i'll love you till eternity, as long as you're willing to stay...
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Last blogged @ 5:05 AM  i love you, i do. (: went to school to get some application forms for retaining. have to start everything all over again. one year of efforts and money, gone just like this. and the reason why i did this is already no longer the reason. well... just have to carry on with this life. (: just wanna be happy each day :D headed to town after that. darling brought me to watch movie :D though the starting and ending was really lame and got us o.O but, afterall, the middle part was quite nice, because it was scary! :D got me and darling covering our eyes. laughs. darling made me laughed like mad. like i've said, the starting was pretty lame. so she went.. "我们是不是买错票啊?" and she took out the ticket and checked. "eh... 对leh!" then... we continued watching... and less than a minute later.. "我们是不是进错地方啊?" and, she looked at me with a blank look. >.< darling, you're stupid. (: - specially for the one i love :D thanks for everything, and every word that you've said (: i cant promise to be the perfect girlfriend, but at least, i'll try my best to give you all that i can, all that i have (: not going to let other's words affect me, or let them come between us (: i'll make this work, and last. i love you :D Last blogged @ 4:06 AM If I Open Up My Heart To You It's still too soon to call it love I know it's more then just a crush we're getting closer every day and when you look at me that way all I can say Is if I open up my heart to you I just need to know you feel it too will you be the one to make my dreams come true if I, if I open up my heart to you I got a feeling this could be something I thought I never see you're on my mind night after night something keeps telling me it's alright so give me a sign..so Is if I open up my heart to you I just need to know you feel it too will you be the one to make my dreams come true if I, if I open up my heart to you You could be everything that I've needed but I can't take that chance till I know that you're with me till I know what your feeling till I know where you stand Till I, till I till I know where you stand will you be the one to make my dreams come true if I,if I open up my heart to you will you be the one there to help me get though if I, if I open up my heart to you XIAOEN ♥ XNAS (:
Monday, December 8, 2008
Last blogged @ 2:38 AM  M-I-A XIAOEN & XNAS, CURRENTLY MISSING IN ACTION. take care, friends. Last blogged @ 2:36 AM just put an end to everything, please? thank you very much.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Last blogged @ 12:03 PM what the HELL did i do wrong again?! im leaving to malaysia. leave this fucking place, and just stop thinking about everything that has happened. i dont know why things have to be in this way. it sucks, it really does. why cant things just go on smoothly for me? fuck it. just leave everything like this and see how things goes when im back. but i bet, it'd be worst. goodbye, everyone. when will all these END? Last blogged @ 5:54 AM went over to joelle's house and stayed overnight there. drink and drink and drink. sighs.
many CRAZY things happened, things that made me upset, things that made me cry like i've lost the world, things that made me mad. just so many things happened in a night. happy things? none. because i was just so lost, and i just cant seem to be able to be happy at all. right now, i no longer know what to do. i dont know what should i do next to make things better, to make everything be alright again. or rather, for me to be happy again. sighs. if things continue on being this way, what's going to happen to me? ): make me happy again, will you? Last blogged @ 2:48 AM  xnas, goodbye. i'll not trouble you, i'll not pester you, i'll not make myself like a clown anymore. and i wont ever irritate your life ever again. i dont know why im making myself go through so much suffering, so much torturement and so much pain because of you when you dont feel a thing. im stupid, i know. im like a clown. and now, i feel so stupid of myself. i suffer so much, but you are enjoying yourself, not even bothering about me. i know im nothing, but, why must you lie to me? " sayang, i wana slp. " when you are at boat quay, drinking and enjoying yourself. i guess right now, you're laughing at me, at my stupidity, my foolishness and my loss. i've been making myself like a crazy fool because of you, but, you didnt even bother. goodbye, sayang. i'll not pester you and make you irritated again. i know im a fool. it's killing me...
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Last blogged @ 7:53 PM  MISSING!sayang, where are you?! out of the sudden, you're missing just like that! i mean, at least give me a call or message, please! you may feel stress out, you may wish to be alone, but, im sorry, im just worried about you!! im FUCKING worried. Last blogged @ 7:31 AM knock knock, hello...? can somebody out there, just tell me... what should i do, to make myself happier?! Last blogged @ 6:14 AM  im sorry, goodbye. I understand that there's some problems And I'm not too blind to know All the pain you kept inside you Even though you might not show If I can't apologize for being wrong Then it's just a shame on me I'll be the reason for your pain And you can put the blame on me you always claim that no matter how much you cry, no matter how upset you are, i wouldnt be bothered, i wouldnt care. but, im telling you, i do have feelings too. i know i hurt you, i know i made you upset. but boy, i know im wrong. i know how it feels. and i do feel bad too. right now, all the things you said had made me feel really bad about myself. and gosh, i dont know how. anyway, i really thank you for everything that you did, everything that you said. thank you for all the times you made me laugh when im down, times when you held my hand when i didnt know what to do. you're nice, and you dont deserve all the shits from me, and like i've said. you do hurt me at times too, but i believe, compared to the hurts i've given you, it's just nothing. now that i'm no longer there. i know you'll be happier. and that you'll not cry anymore. stay happy, i know you will. im not worth your tears, and i know things will never be the same again. so... please just stay happy, without me. Last blogged @ 5:08 AM     happiness, where are you? i've been searching for you... had been trying to isolate myself at home, in the room. didnt wish to face the world out there. but i realised by isolating myself, im causing myself to think much more, and thus, get myself even more upset. but i just feel like an empty shell, nowhere to go, no mood to have fun. why did my life turn out to be this way? it's like i've lost my soul. and right now, the one that you see is not me, but just a dead body moving about. was supposed to meet someone... got ready and all, left home and in the end, cant make it? -.- sighs. then got back my moody emotions and return home. all of them asked me to go down to tampines to meet them. and i just got no mood.. seem so far and i just wish to stay right at this area, isolating myself. aljunied and tampines is just so near. but, i dont know why. it seemed so far away at that point of time. so in the end, bie and kazua came down to find me. slack slack slack, you see me, i see you. sighhhhs. made bie nose bled unintentionally. well, i didnt know it'll cause her to bleed mahhhh! anyway, bie, im really sorry laaa. ): she was complaining that not only did i made her shed tears, but blood too. but, wah lau! 我不是故意的laaaaa!!!! ): was very very hungry and we decided to go geylang to eat. in the end, kazua was like, "eh, i dont have cash ley. can use credit card?" me and bie was speechless. *shakes head* and in the end, we have to walk all the way to aljunied cresent's macdonald. all the troubles for just a meal. >.< and maybe i'll be leaving for malaysia on thursay. ): i hope tomorrow will be a better day for me. when am i going to be happy again?
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Last blogged @ 5:11 AM      im trying my best to be happy again, and i hope i will (: went zouk with ivan, remus and jeffery. met up with joelle, tricia, xnas, jasmine and kazua there. oh, and also shihan with his friends. was irritated at the beginning.. but remus and jeffery did alot of nonsense to make me laugh like mad :D had great fun (: oh, and bumped into meibao. zhengyang too (: it's been a long time since i last saw him. today was a day i had great fun with old friends... at least, all the funs made me feel better... i know i'll be happy again, no matter how long it's going to take. :D i guess.. no more crooked life, im sick and tired, and i had enough of it.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Last blogged @ 6:39 PM This goes out to someone that was Once the most important person in my life I didn’t realize it at the time I can’t forgive myself for the way I treated you so I don’t really expect you to either It’s just... I don’t even know Just listen… You’re the one that I want, the one that I need The one that I gotta have just to succeed When I first saw you, I knew it was real I’m sorry about the pain I made you feel That wasn’t me; let me show you the way I looked for the sun, but it’s raining today I remember when I first looked into your eyes It was like God was there, heaven in the skies I wore a disguise 'cause I didn’t want to get hurt But I didn’t know I made everything worse You told me we were crazy in love But you didn’t care when push came to shove If you loved me as much as you said you did Then you wouldn’t have hurt me like I ain’t shit Now you pushed me away like you never even knew me I loved you with my heart, really and truly I guess you forgot about the times that we shared When I would run my fingers through your hair Late nights, just holding you in my arms I don’t know how I could do you so wrong I really wanna show you I really need to hold you I really wanna know you like no one could else know you You’re number one, always in my heart And now I can’t believe that our love is torn apart I need you and I miss you and I want you and I love you ‘cause I wanna hold you, I wanna kiss you You were my everything And I really miss you I knew you gonna sit and play this with her And then sit and laugh as you’re holding her hand The thought of that just shatters my heart It breaks in my soul and it tears me apart At times we was off I was scared to show you Now I wanna hold you until I can’t hold you Without you, everything seems strange Your name is forever planted in my brain Damn it, I’m insane, Take away the pain Take away the hurt Baby, we can make it work What about when you Looked into my eyes Told me you loved me As you would hugged me I guess everything you said was a lie I think about it, it brings tears to my eyes Now I’m not even a thought in your mind I can see clearly, my love is not blind I need you and I miss you and I want you and I love you ‘cause I wanna hold you, I wanna kiss you You were my everything And I really miss you I just wish everything could have turned out differently I had a special feeling about you I thought maybe you did too You would understand, but… No matter what, you’ll always be in my heart You’ll always be my baby Our first day, it seemed so magical I remember all the time that I had with you Remember when you first came to my house? You looked like an angel wearing that blouse We hit it off, I knew it was real But now I can’t take all the pain that I feel Reach in your heart, I know I’m still there I don’t wanna hear that you no longer care Remember the times? Remember when we kissed? I didn’t think you would ever do me like this I didn’t think you’d wanna see me depressed I thought you’d be there for me, this I confess You said you were my best friend, was that a lie? Now I’m nothing to you, you’re with another I tried, I tried, I tried, and I’m trying Now on the inside it feels like I’m dying I need you and I miss you and I want you and I love you ‘cause I wanna hold you, I wanna kiss you You were my everything And I really miss you And I do miss you I just thought we were meant to be I guess now, we’ll never know The only thing I want is for you to be happy Whether it be with me, or without me I just want you to be happy Last blogged @ 6:30 PM FUCK all these pain , im hurting badly. can someone just fucking take all these fucking pain away from me, please? i dont think i'd be able to hang on any longer, im wont be able to take it anymore. or would someone just do it quick, fucking kill me right now! Last blogged @ 3:44 PM i feel like an empty shell..
when will this heartache, this torturement, this suffering stop? Last blogged @ 3:12 PM teach me how to be strong. i want to be alright.. Last blogged @ 4:21 AM 爱永远都是难题 失去分寸太容易 谁都是凡人不够小心翼翼 有时候忘了珍惜 伤害来的太无意 有时爱太急需要空间呼吸 争吵愈狠痛愈深刻 然后不断自责 我们都忘了最初的快乐 拥抱越紧痛愈深刻 谁不会舍不得 现在我给的或许并不是你要的 如果分离是唯一的解脱 最后的话我来说 如果永远你不必再难过 遗憾让我来过 就算过去的回忆太脆弱 连未来也没有我 爱着你 仍是我的执着 让你哭泣对不起 为了爱承受委屈 说过的承诺其实还没忘记 愈是在乎的关系 愈是相处不容易 伤害了你我也失去勇气 争吵愈狠痛愈深刻 然后不断自责 我们都忘了最初的快乐 拥抱越紧痛愈深刻 谁不会舍不得 现在我给的或许并不是你要的 如果分离是唯一的解脱 最后的话我来说 如果永远你不必再难过 遗憾让我来过 就算过去的回忆太脆弱 连未来也没有我 爱着你 仍是我的执着 走到感情关键时候 却握不住你的手 还能有什么藉口 让爱再回头 多少的爱 说不出口 就让时间 帮我说话 我一个人拼命挣扎 总比两个人一起难过还好吧 如果分离是唯一的解脱 最后的话我来说 如果永远你不必再难过 遗憾让我来过 就算过去的回忆太脆弱 连未来也没有我 爱着你 仍是我的执着 爱着你 唯一的解脱 Last blogged @ 3:57 AM 说好的幸福呢 你的回话凌乱着 在这个时刻 我想起喷泉旁的白鸽 甜蜜散落了 情绪莫名的拉扯 我还爱你呢 而你断断续续唱着歌 假装没事了 时间过了走了 爱情面临选择 你冷了倦了我哭了 离开时的不快乐 你用卡片手写着 有些爱只给到这 真的痛了 怎么了你累了 说好的幸福呢 我懂了不说了 爱淡了梦远了 开心与不开心一一细数着 你再不舍 那些爱过的感觉都太深刻 我都还记得 你不等了 说好的幸福呢 我错了泪干了 放手了后悔了 只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着 要怎么停呢 你的回话凌乱着 在这个时刻 我想起喷泉旁的白鸽 甜蜜散落了 情绪莫名的拉扯 我还爱你呢 而你断断续续唱着歌 假装没事了 时间过了走了 爱情面临选择 你冷了倦了我哭了 离开时的不快乐 你用卡片手写着 有些爱只给到这 真的痛了 怎么了你累了 说好的幸福呢 我懂了不说了 爱淡了梦远了 开心与不开心一一细数着 你再不舍 那些爱过的感觉都太深刻 我都还记得 你不等了 说好的幸福呢 我错了泪干了 放手了后悔了 只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着 要怎么停呢 怎么了你累了 说好的幸福呢 我懂了不说了 爱淡了梦远了 我都还记得 你不等了 说好的幸福呢 我错了泪干了 放手了后悔了 只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着 要怎么停呢 Last blogged @ 2:54 AM it's hard to deal with all these pain... Last blogged @ 2:50 AM 傻瓜我们都一样 被爱情伤了又伤 相信这个他不一样 却又再一次受伤 傻瓜我们都一样 受了伤却不投降 相信付出会有代价 代价只是一句傻瓜 Last blogged @ 2:25 AM 我会尝试好好过... fucking lots of things happened, and right now, im left with all the pains to handle, and i dont know what to do. |
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